Nair.

Okay, so I have a bottle of Nair that I use when we vacation because it lasts longer. For you gentlemen who may not know, Nair is a chemical hair remover.

It basically removes it by burning the crap out of your hair follicles. I only use it for vacation because:
1. It smells like it is doing what it IS doing, burning hair. GAG.
2. It also burns your skin, no matter how fast you get it off.

I keep it in the bathroom cabinet downstairs, way in the back. It is some nasty stuff.

So, I take the kids to Jerry's tonight and John goes upstairs to grab something out of our bedroom. As he passes Courtney's door, there is a horrific stench emanating, so he opens the door (his going in her room comes up again, so his reason for doing so is important). He finds..a roll of toilet paper and the bottle of Nair. She must have grabbed it and used it. If you have ever used it, you apply it, wait 5-10 minutes or until you burst into flames, and then wipe it off. THEN you are supposed to rinse the skin well with warm water. I am guessing since she does not have running water in her room, Courtney has skipped this step and is now at her Dad's working on a nice chemical burn.

So I call Jerry I explain the situation to him. He says something to her and she actually says "WHY WAS JOHN IN MY ROOM?" Ummm. Because it smelled like burning animal? She gets on the phone and apologizes. I explain to her that she should not use it and the multitude of reasons why, not the least of which is that it is a pretty rough chemical and that it is MINE, so she should have asked first. She then says "well now that I know it can burn, I won't use it."

Ahhhh. So that fact that it did not belong to you is not the problem here at all. Jerry starts asking her why she didn't ask me first. Of course, we don't have an answer for this.

She then says, "so, is that why my legs burn now?" Cripes. I tell her to get off the phone, go take a shower and not to use soap, just water where she had the Nair, as the soap would irritate it more.

So if I ever mention the locked train case I keep my pretty pricey makeup and extremely expensive perfume in, now you know why. Not only to keep the little ones out, but the big ones too. I swear, if I have not been committed by the time Gainey turns 18, someone needs to call the Vatican. Because it will be a friggin miracle.