2Princes2Princesses: Selling a 3-year-old on Ebay?

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Selling a 3-year-old on Ebay?

So, Johnnie has lost his mind. Not sure exactly what happened, but the kid is going crazy. Maybe cabin fever, maybe psychosis. We still are not quite sure.

He has been into everything and stubborn as a mule since the new year began. Frankly, I am tired. It is days like this that make me question the sanity of starting all over again when Court and Tom were 11 and 9. WTF was I thinking?

Of course, then he runs out to my desk while I work, turn my chair and throws his arms around me. "I ludge you Mommy!!!"

For anyone reading this who does not have kids and wonders how people who do manage to get through a day without killing someone?? That's how. Kids have a radar or something built in. After they spray your living room with Hershey's syrup, their little detector goes off "DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!" and they then retreat, being so loveable you could hurl.

They do lose that as teens. Court and Tom are stalking me for a ride to their Dad's right now. If I say "hang on!" in an irritated voice, all I get is an eye roll and a "FINE!" Yep. All my fault your Dad cannot pick you up because he is carless.

Time to head out into the cold (it is actually a balmy 34 here, warmer than the last couple days) and make the trek to the city to drop them off. I promise, I'll slow down. Maybe even stop.

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So you can keep us straight as I ramble:

Steph - That's ME. A little nuts, 35 years old. I work at home because for some reason I thought that would be a swell idea. I was mistaken. I have gone to Nursing and started medical school and then decided neither one suited me. I have recently become somewhat memory challenged, I have been told it is stress. I have OCD. I have a good sense of humor about it, and about a lot of other things. I have a pretty dark (and sometimes dirty) sense of humor. Don't say I did not warn you.
John - My husband, also a little nuts, though not formally diagnosed. He is 36. He is Court and Tom's stepdad. Court occasionally calls him Lumpy. I am not sure why. He is a 50% disabled veteran. He has Gulf War Syndrome. THere really is no ONE Gulf War Syndrome, apparently. All I know is he came back from Iraq and gets these huge, itchy rashes all over, including in his eyes. They are horrific and no one can tell us what the hell they are. Actually that may be why Court calls him Lumpy. I have diagnosed it as "creeping crud."
Courtney - My oldest. She is 15. You will probably hear alot about her, hopefully some of it will be good. She just started high school and thinks we are complete dunderheads. Unfortunately for her, we are not. She also thinks she is in charge. -insert hysterical laughter here-
Tom - My 13-year-old. We say he is in "Tommy World" most of the time. Unfortunately, Tommy World does not include homework. It also seems he was given an attitude for his 13th birthday. Fantastic! He has always been kind of a Mom's boy and hates to make me mad. All together now: Awwwww. -gag-
Gainey - Her given name is Morgaine. My sister calls her Midge. We sometimes call her Princess Yeti to annoy her. She is 5 and pretty smart (and smart-assed) for her age. Thinks she actually IS a princess and we are her servants. Her name? Yes, she is named after King Arthur's 1/2 sister, from Mists of Avalon by Harriet Zimmer Bradley. She is also exceptionally small. Johnnie is bigger and we are asked frequently if they are twins or if he is older.
Johnnie - Our youngest. He just turned 3 in December. He is a pretty BIG boy. Alternates between completely psycho and completely loveable. Makes me laugh alot, although if he didn't, I would probably cry. We are about to embark on potty training. That ought to make for some good blog posts for you.
Jerry - Though he does not live with us, you may hear about him. He is my ex, Court and Tom's dad. We get along really well, which is why I will bitch and moan about him, because I can get away with it. He is also 35. We talk almost daily. As you can imagine, that goes over well with the ladies.